june 30, 2023

June 30, 2023

10:36 am

Wow….

What a week.

I slept in this morning for the first time since Tuesday, and I needed that.  It has been a bumpy…up and down…ride this week.  I’ve been sad and stressed, but I feel better yesterday and today.

Tuesday morning, I called Dr. Louie’s office.  I wanted to speak to him or make an appointment to speak to him about the decision to call off the surgery and to discuss the PET scan and MRI results, and ask and get answered some of my questions.  I learned that he was out of the office on vacation for the rest of the week and next.  While I knew…he’d mentioned…that he was going to go fishing in Alaska, I was pretty shocked and disturbed to find out that he’d left without calling/contacting me about the PET and MRI results…. He’d just spoken to Dr. Schoppy the day before, Monday, and with these results and the decision about the surgery to be made, how could he have just left without contacting me, or having someone in his office contact me, or having an oncologist who would cover for him contact me?  This was extremely upsetting and stressful!!!!  I cried.  

Dr. Schoppy has been phenomenal….amazing….I really do not know what I would have done or how I would have handled this all so far without him.  

Tuesday and Wednesday were hard days.  Trying to understand what was happening, what was going to happen….a mass of some sort, about which I had absolutely no other information, sitting in my lung….I don’t even know which lung….something in my eye…..

Those were hard days.  I found it hard to smile.  Of course, Ead always makes me smile….but I was definitely struggling.  I took a half of one of those pills that Dr. Serrano had prescribed each night…Tuesday and Wednesday…since I hadn’t slept Monday night….and they helped…they are strong…but I also felt groggy and down the following days….so I knew I couldn’t take anymore.  I had to “right” myself.

People who helped:  Laura, of course.  She held me and let me sob, and reassured me, reminded me that God’s got me…her soft touch, her soft but sure voice….what would I ever do without her?

Dr. Schoppy, of course.  He referred me to Dr. Nardin, the ophthalmologist, and to Dr. Lo, the pulmonologist.  He ordered the lung biopsy STAT.  He calls, texts, listens, offers his expertise and his opinions, explains everything very articulately.  He cares.  What would I do without him?

Mike Morimoto, oncology manager at Castle.  He listened very attentively and offered his apologies for Dr. Louie’s unacceptable lack of contact.  

There is just too much to write about here now, now that it’s Friday already.  I was too upset to write during the whole ordeal.

On Wednesday, I woke up early and went to Laura’s to watch Ead while she had a presentation to do.  I was really down and still embroiled in phone calls, etc.  I really didn’t feel like swimming.  After spending the day with Laura and Ead, I came home and got ready for bed early…lights out at 8 pm.  I’d just had enough.

Yesterday, Thursday, I got up early to go to Dr. Nardin’s.  After examining my eyes, he said that they look healthy…he didn’t see anything unusual or alarming at all.  He referred me to Dr. Tim McDevitt, whom I will see next Thursday at 2:15 pm in Honolulu (POB1).  

Then, with blurry eyes, sensitive to the light, I decided to go swimming ANYWAYS….because you just can’t keep me down and out of the water.  Cannot.  I don’t go down easily and I don’t stay down.  I do not.  I swam two miles and I was damn happy that I did.  

Despite having a mass of some sort in my lung, I am breathing and swimming and riding just fine.  I feel nothing.  

After riding home and showering, Laura came to get me and she and I and Ead headed to town to meet up with Dave and Sarah.  First, we stopped at UHFCU so that I could transfer funds to pay my rent, and Laura Roberts Lauren’s teller space was open and I practically ran to get there.  I love her!!!  We’ve talked and laughed so much over the past months, and she and I had a phone conversation last week.  I was happy to see her!  She is quite a rare woman!  A faithful Christian woman…it warms my heart and gives me such hope that she and her dad pray for me!!!!!!!!!!!

We picked up Dave and Sarah and drove into Waikiki to visit the Waikiki Aquarium.  I hadn’t been there in a few years, and Dave and Laura and Ead had never been there!  It was Ead’s first visit!!  He loved it!  He loves everything!  He has such enthusiasm and zest for life!!  Oh, how I love…how I adore…him!!!!  What joy!!!

We went to Red Fish in Kaka’ako for food…..that was really nice…fun…Ead sat in a highchair at a restaurant for the very first time and he seemed very curious and happy, just taking it all in.  He seems to really like doing anything that we’re doing…new things…he likes to people watch…he likes to imitate and entertain us….he likes being a part of everything…very social.  Very happy.  Very sweet.

Sooooooooooo….here we are at Friday and here is how things stand:

1. Surgery is off the table, for now anyways.
2. Next week Thursday, July 6th, at 2:15 pm in Honolulu (POB1), I will see Dr. McDevitt about my eye.  
3. I called Castle to request a CD of my MRI to bring to Dr. McDevitt, as his office requested, and I will ride my bike up there in a little while to get it.
4. I will also deliver my financial aid application and documents to Castle today.
5. I will stop at CPB or a credit union and see if a notary is available to notarize my powers of attorney for Laura and Dave.  (I’m going to revisit the health care directive at a later time; it’s all just too much to think about right now.)
6. Next week Friday, July 7th, at 10:40 am I will see Dr. Louie.  I am preparing a list of questions to email to Jessica and I hope that Dr. Louie will address and answer those questions at that visit.  I deserve…I have a right…to know these answers!
7. On Monday, July 10th, at 2:45 pm, I will see Dr. Lo, the pulmonologist, in Kailua.
8. On Tuesday, July 11th, I will go to Castle at 6:30 am for the lung biopsy at 8:00 am.  Because I will be sedated, I must fast from midnight.  
9. On Wednesday, July 12th, at 9:30 am, I will have a telehealth meeting with Dr. Spiers.

Today, after I ride to Castle and complete my errands, I will SWIM.  Laura and Ead will probably come to meet me later this afternoon.

Tomorrow and Sunday, I will help Laura by watching Ead while she completes some school work and takes Kona to the vet.  

On Tuesday, July 4th, Laura and Ead will come over to watch the parade which will proceed right past my house!  Ead’s first parade!

I am exceedingly grateful that I am enjoying so many of Ead’s firsts with him!!!!!!!!!!

I would really like some quiet beach time….some books that I ordered came in and I would love to do some quiet reading on the beach.

Also, a project that I want to get going on is entering alllllll of my poetry into a document/book on this computer.  

Wow.  I’m not working but I’m really busy.  Sleeping ok.  Eating ok.  Swimming well.  I was stressed and down mid-week and got away from praying and chanting….will…am getting back….always back to JESUS.  Always.  He is IN me (Col. 1:27) and so any evil cells that want to destroy me are not compatible with HIM in me and HE MUST BE…IS …..VICTORIOUS.  I BELIEVE IT. 

I’m a bit tired…but I will go and ride and take care of my business and SWIM and live my day.  MY DAY.

Wowsa....

I'm....

Grateful that I can do this!!

After a little warm-up...100 short-course yards...

4000 non-stop short-course yards!

90 minutes...

100 short-course yards cool-down...

Col. 1:27