watercolor thoughts

October 19, 2023

 

Wowsa.....
 
That sure felt f@#$%^g good!
 
Needed it....
 
Warm, quiet pool....
 
Overcast....I smelled the rain before the drops pelted the surface of the pool.....
 
100 scy's warm-up breast
3800 scy's free
100 scy's cool-down breast
 
In under an hour and a half....while I used to be quicker, my pace was strong and steady and my stamina is GREAT....this is not difficult for me....especially considering...yeah....the, you know, cancer in my lung....!
 
I do not feel it...at all...
It is the treatment that causes fatigue, inflammation (aches, soreness, stomach upset), and vitiligo...
 
But I just don't care! I need to swim!
 
I've been fatigued since my last infusion treatment...was tired waking up early to take care of my grand-dude this morning; after eating breakfast and playing with him, when he went down for a nap, so did I.
 
Fatigue and depression go hand-in-hand for me, so.....I'm always aware of any signs of either and I'm always as pro-active as possible (self-care: balancing sleep/rest, diet) in heading off any symptoms.
 
The pool is my haven; swimming is my sanity. Just as the water flows freely around me, just as the air flows freely in and out of my lungs, my watercolor thoughts are free to flow in and around me....
 
No phone calls; no text messages; no appointments; nobody talking to me; no computer; no opened and/or unopened mail/bills....
 
I know if I just get to the pool, get in, and....begin....
 
My body knows what to do.
 
Feeling great and extremely grateful that I can do this!!!
 
The upcoming CT scan on the 30th is on my mind; I cannot deny that.  I know that there is nothing to be done until then....I will not have another infusion until November 3; I will not have any doctors' appointments until after the infusion; I am eating nutritionally; I am resting; I am trying not to stress, but to just carry on and do my best to take care of myself.  I know that there is no sense in worrying or imagining or predicting...I know.  Still yet, I cannot deny that it is on my mind.
 
I have much to do before my sister and her family arrives, i.e. cleaning up/sprucing up my cottage.  
 
Staying calm and swimming on.....
 

 

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