Tuesday, November 28, 2023
Wow....MMWT blew my mind today....I'm seriously grateful for her!
And I just want to say that it would certainly be very, very useful if, when one is diagnosed with cancer or any serious illness that requires serious treatment, someone....some ONE....at the hospital and/or doctors' offices is assigned to provide necessary and relevant and helpful information to the diagnosed person to help that person know and anticipate what to expect.....in all areas...
When I was diagnosed with cancer, on that day and in that moment, my life as I knew it ABRUPTLY and IRREVOCABLY CHANGED...on a dime...even though I did not know...or fully understand that...at all...in that know...I just could not quite know or comprehend that....
I had absolutely no experience with such a diagnosis; I had absolutely no idea what to expect...no idea how things...my entire life...was about to...profoundly and irrevocably change.
I knew I had cancer; I knew I would undergo treatment. I kinda thought I would just handle it just I've handled all the challenges and trials in my life...I would "just do it"....take it on...face it...carry on....headlong and relentlessly....I would battle it relentlessly...almost without thinking about it, without skipping a beat...after all, hadn't I been fighting for my entire life?
Hmmmm.....
Today....being provoked to think deeply...by and with MMWT....I realize....that there are some side effects (of both the treatment and of the disease itself) that I hadn't/haven't...yet...considered....that haven't even been brought to my attention...that are invisible and immeasurable...that have not been necessarily widely recognized nor researched by the medical community.....
As our session began, I mentioned to Mary that I was, even though I had put my swimsuit on, indecisive about whether to swim or sleep a bit more and swim either this afternoon or this evening, and she asked me to think about the pros and cons of either choice....
I bemoaned my indecisiveness.....
She introduced a term I'd never heard, no less ever given any consideration: cancer brain.
So what is cancer brain? (And, just as importantly, if not more so, why does no medical professional tell one these things?????)
Caused by treatment or the disease itself or both, cancer brain, or more commonly known as chemo brain, may be defined as....
According to the Mayo Clinic:
"Chemo brain is a common term used by cancer survivors to describe thinking and memory problems that can occur during and after cancer treatment. Chemo brain can also be called chemo fog, cancer-related cognitive impairment or cognitive dysfunction. Though chemo brain is a widely used term, the causes of concentration and memory problems aren't well-understood. It's likely that there are multiple causes. No matter the cause, chemo brain can be a frustrating and debilitating side effect of cancer and its treatment. Researchers are working to understand the memory changes that people with cancer experience."
I've only begun to read/research this new-to-me term/topic/condition, but it seems that while there is some ongoing research being conducted into the effects of cancer brain on immunotherapy patients, immunotherapy being so new and cancer brain being so vague and invisible, there is not a whole lot of research and information about it. However, the fact that it is invisible and a lot is not known about it...yet....does not negate it's reality.
It is real. I am not the same. My brain does not work in the same ways. There is something to this and I owe it to myself to acknowledge it, try to understand it, work with it.
In some ways, nothing has changed; in some ways, a lot has changed. I aspire to understanding.
I believe in a Creator who masterfully and undisputedly designed it all....but whether you believe that this all has been designed and set into motion deliberately by a Creator, or whether you believe that there is no rhyme or reason to the origins of life on this planet, or that it was all a happy accident...or whatever you believe....
It certainly is an amazing and incredibly intricate tapestry....(more on this later)
A nap........felt good....the right decision...
And then an afternoon swim.....felt even better....also the right decision!
Cool and tranquil pool....only me and one other swimmer when the pool opened at 2 pm....a handful of others came and went while I just kept swimming....and swimming....
100 scy's breast warm-up
5250 scy's free....3 full miles...just under 2 hours....very happy with this today!
Mmmm....rain in the forecast all week, but plenty of sunshine this afternoon....after heavy downpours last night and this morning...
The water was cool....but not cold...quite comfy....though when I was finished, I rested my head and shoulders on the ledge of the pool, allowed my legs to gently rise to the surface, and delighted in my face basking in the late day sun as it slowly sank behind some low clouds, creating a golden fringe around them....and then the water did begin to cool me down quickly...
As I biked home under the azure sky, some white and puffy (not gray and rain-soaked) hung overhead....
For the next few months, there will certainly be some very sunny and summery days; there will also be some rainy days...but...
"Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes, yeah
Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
I'll be there, yeah, ohh
Do-do-do, do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do
Whoa-oh-oh, do-do-do-do-do
Do-do-do, do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do
Who-a-oh-oh-oh-oh"
Happy and grateful! (Swimming really helps!!!)
Happy Birthday to my Irish Twin Sister!!
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