i will not stop

June 10, 2023

I feel good today.  Positive. Hopeful.  

Laura just called.  Dagan and his mom found an oncologist who will take me on….Dr. Jared Acoba, Chief of Oncology at Queens.  I feel better.  Just gotta keep it moving…no time to waste….not going to…can not…just sit around and wait…

In the meantime, I’ve decided to get allllll of my poems together and put them in here, in my computer….my poetry book…Everyday Epiphany.  

I’ve got time.  

It's a beautiful day.  Bright sunshine and fresh trade breezes….stunningly beautiful.  I feel like swimming a couple of miles!!!!  I WILL swim this coming week.

I haven’t heard from Juku.  Not sure what to do about that…wait for a response, I guess.  

I think I should apply to receive my Social Security retirement benefits early.  I’m 62.  It won’t be as much as if I wait til I’m 67….but I may not m………no, I won’t say that.  I can collect what I can and I’ll work…substitute, tutor….til I cannot and then I’ll live with Laura if I cannot make it on my own.  

Or I’ll sell a million copies of Everyday Epiphany!

It’s a beautiful day and I’m not letting it get away!  What I don’t have I don’t have I don’t need it now!  What I can’t see I can feel somehow!  My favorite U2 song.

We’re taking Ead out.  He loves to be out….he is curious and enthusiastic and he is easy to take out because he is very sweet and agreeable.  He smiles easily and it is very easy to evoke a belly laugh!  I absolutely adore him….adore him…..

We are going to the sunflower farm in Waimanalo….I’ve been wanting to go….

Waiting for Dr. Schoppy and Dr. Serrano to call…either can make the referral to Dr. Acoba so that Dr. Acoba’s office can get on my case.  I am hoping to see him as soon as possible this week.  Perhaps we can get the PET scan done this week as well.  I do love Dr. Serrano….we have a good rapport…he is THOROUGH….but, as he said, he is not a cancer doctor.  But he is my primary care physician and he can make the referral.  I also love Dr. Schoppy!  But he is an ENT and a surgeon, but not necessarily a cancer doctor.  Dr. Acoba is Chief of Oncology…it’s what he does.  He’s also an associate professor at UH who does research.  So….he’s my man….

I am watching videos about Italy.  I will listen to beautiful music.  I will go to museums.  I will read and write and paint and draw.  I will photograph.  I will walk the beach.  I will ride my bike.  I will swim!!  And I will ride horses!  I will spend time with my family….with Dave and Sarah and Lamb-chop and Laura and Ead and Kona Bean….and Lila…..  I will do all of the things that I love to do until I cannot do them anymore. 

I will not stop. 

I will not. 

I.  WILL. NOT. STOP.